Diary of a Gooner: Tuesday – August 6th, 2013

Suárez, Rooney and Bale are all “injured”, wonder if they have the same injury as a certain former Arsenal player had. I think it’s a typical case of the “nope. Get me outta here” injury. Wonder how we can get Bendtner “injured”…

Today’s hottest topics? A religious man, claiming to be a Gooner, praying for Wenger to get brain cancer, Suárez, Gervinho, El Jadeyaoui and Mikel Arteta. Oh, and angry Liverpool, Manchester United and Tottenham fans.

Let’s start with the plastic fan. This man tweeted, right after he tweeted two rather religious tweets stating that he’s proud to believe in God (his English is terrible, but that’s what he was trying to say), “If wenger should fail to land suarez frm lfc to afc..I pray he wenger develops cancer of the brain and resign!!” (I warned you about his English). Gooners, and other football fans, were outraged. Saying that this is absolutely ridiculous, this man shouldn’t call himself a Gooner, this man is an embarrassment to all Gooners and some hit back saying they wish this man himself got cancer. I agree with all the outraged Gooners and football fans. However, to the small group of idiots wishing this guy gets cancer, thank you for making it a pot/kettle story, much appreciated.

Suárez then. He’s injured. Or so we’ve been told. He’s considering taking legal steps to get out of Liverpool. Or so we’ve been told. The Guardian has an ‘explosive’ interview with Suárez (link to the interview is at the bottom). Gooners still disagree when it comes to Suárez. Some want him to join, because he’s a world class striker and the Boss can turn his behaviour around. Others don’t want him to join, because of his behaviour and let’s just forget he’s a world class striker. I guess it’s clear now that Suárez really does want to leave Liverpool. It’s also obvious that Liverpool do not want to let him go. Will he be able to force a move? It sure does look like it. At least he’s open and honest about it and he it wasn’t just one good season after seven years full of injuries!

Gervinho is training with Roma, however the club couldn’t announce him yet because there are some issues with the number of non-EU players the club already has. Gooners were complaining about Arsenal being extremely slow with this bit of transfer news, ITKs were completely lost as to why it hadn’t been announced yet and now we know. It was hilarious to see how the ITKs were completely clueless though.

 El Jadeyaoui. Yes that guy. If you can’t pronounce his last name, that’s okay. We’re all waiting to hear English football commentators giving it a go. Anyway, it’s been reported that he’s in London for a trial. With Arsenal. Some Gooners had a public mental breakdown, saying the club should sign quality signing instead of these young footballers who aren’t good enough. Others realised it’s just a two day trial and wishing the young player the best of luck.

Mikel Arteta has stated that he expects signings this season, though he also said most of these signings will be last minute. Gooners were excited about this news, it calmed most of them down as well. Well, most of them, some still managed to complain about the Boss being clueless and us ending up with a bunch of idiots without talent.

Suárez: injured. Rooney: injured. Bale: injured. Liverpool fans: angry, scared and frustrated. Manchester United fans: angry, scared and frustrated. Tottenham fans: angry, scared and frustrated. Now before I start making fun of them, I want to say one thing. To all the Liverpool and Tottenham fans who didn’t make fun of upset Gooners when our best player and striker left us last summer, if they do leave, we understand how you feel and we promise it’ll get better. To Manchester United fans and the other Liverpool and Tottenham fans: I hope it f*cking hurts, what goes around comes around, Karma’s a b*tch and all that. Oh and maybe this can help you guys out: If you want the guy to stay, you probably shouldn’t send threats and abuse his way. Apparently that doesn’t work. Just a thought.

In other news, The Arsenal Ladies are playing Everton Ladies in the semi final of the Continental Cup this Thursday at 7:45PM. – Bacary Sagna says his assured displays at centre back have been down to a ‘love of learning’. – Arsenal XI will take on Colchester United in final pre-season friendly on August 13. – Arsenal U21s opening match at Stoke, has been rearranged for Monday, August 19.

Good luck fangirling over Suárez everyone!


The Guardian: Suárez Interview


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